I apologise for my somewhat sparse activity on the board this week.

My X-Windows software arrived on Monday, which means that I have the exciting task of creating out production support environment (16-odd databases, plus transferring over the geographic database (only half a terabyte of data... luckily this is going to be done over the weekend - starting at midnight on Saturday, and we hope to have the copy finished by the end of Tuesday...). Things are not going to be much better in the coming weeks...

Bloody work... No tasks for weeks, then dozens come at once...

Home has been only slightly less fraught, as I am trying to persuade my Mother-in-law's digital camera to work. So far, it has only involved 5 PC rebuilds, and that is the simple method.

Enough of this whinging. I have had just enough time to add a minor side-story to the board.

Angst and Alarm Clocks

Originally posted on Tales of the Parodyverse.

Characters in this story are owned either by myself, or other posters on the Board.

Prologue:

In a field somewhere, two female figures lie sleeping.

At first one takes them for backpackers roughing it, but this impression is quickly dispelled. The lack of backpacks, and the general cleanliness of the two is something of a give-away.

An old-fashioned alarm clock is placed between the pair. As is the way of such things, the clock begins to ring - a raucous sound to disturb the morning.

The smaller of the figures stirs. She is revealed to be an oriental, clearly in her teens. She gestures, and the clock disappears in a small fireball. Her companion turns over and regards the remains of the clock with some irritation.

“For heaven’s sake, Liu. You only have to hit the bloody thing on the top to stop it ringing.”

“Did. Dead centre.”

The events that turned much of Hells Bathroom into a smoking ruin had passed. All that now remained was the picking up.

Some distance from the carnage, a girl sat on a rooftop, staring blankly over the city. In the distance a plume of smoke could still be seen rising from the ruins, and it seemed to have her full attention.

Concealed around the corner, a fire crew split their attention between monitoring the rooftop figure and discouraging the social worker who wants to talk down the possible suicide.

A male figure in a Zorro outfit climbed on to the roof. The immediate requirement for muscles having passed, the figure become female, and made its way over to her.

Yo sat on the roof, next to Kerry. She didn’t say a word; she just sat and looked over the city, allowing the silence to work its spell over Kerry. Eventually, Kerry spoke.

“I’m not like them.”

Yo maintained her silence.

“They didn’t care who they hurt. They killed the families; they killed the fire-fighters... I’ve never...”

“We are all knowing that cute Kerry is not wanting to be killing.” Yo commented. “And Kerry is knowing this as well. Yo is thinking that something else is to be bothering cute Kerry.”

Kerry lapsed back into silence - she was not one for showing her feelings. None the less, Yo could tell she was very upset. It was easy to underestimate Yo, but - in part from recent experience - s/he could recognise a teenager curled up and cuddling her teddy-bear.

Of course, this being Kerry, the teddy-bear was a flame-thrower. The principle still held.

"I nearly lost him." she said at last.

"Cute Visi is to be coming out of the hospital soon." noted Yo.

"You don't understand... I got dumped on my elder sister because my own family threw me out. I thought Sarah was dumping me on Visionary... I thought nobody cared. It wasn't until the Hellraisers thing that I realised that Visionary did..."

Kerry wound to a halt.

"Visionary is the closest thing I have to a father now." she said at last, with a suspicion of tears trickling down her cheeks. "And I nearly lost him."

"Visi is to be knowing how cute Kerry feels..." Yo began.

"Then that bastard of a ghoul tries to kill him. Visionary has a heart attack and there is nothing I can do. Yo - I was completely helpless. Visionary found a way to save me from the Hellraisers. He faced down a major Elder Creature that was trying to sacrifice me, and when he needed me I couldn't do anything!"

The flame-thrower slipped from her hands as Kerry finally collapsed into tears on Yo's shoulder. It fell to ground level where it unaccountably failed to explode. One of the braver fire-fighters took the opportunity to confiscate it.

Eventually, Kerry finished sobbing. She remained leaning against Yo, finding his/her presence comforting. Finally, when she was sure that Kerry had got the crying out of her system, Yo spoke.

"Visi is understanding this too. Visi is always to be being in a position where he is feeling helpless. That is when Visi's friends rally round.". Yo paused. "If cute Kerry wants to feel a little less helpless, Yo is thinking that Yo has a good idea..."

A few days passed. Yo had made some arrangements, and then given Kerry instructions to be "being at the Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital at 8:00 every eveninging this week

As a result, Kerry now found herself in a hospital room, with Yo, a handful of other people (a mix of teenagers and adults from all walks of life), and a line of what looked suspiciously like dead bodies hidden under sheets, laid out on the floor. Two paramedics were fussing over a projector, trying to persuade it to work.

"Yo is looking forward to this." the thought-creature confided. "Yo has been wanting to do this for some time, but has not been having anyone to be coming with."

The projector started to work, displaying the image of a large red cross on the wall.

And the class began.

Epilogue:

In a field somewhere, two female figures lie sleeping. Between them ticks a modern plastic alarm clock, oblivious to its fate.

The male figures approaching them are not as discerning as the reader. They do, however, have urges, strength and a lack of decency to go with them. An unaccompanied pair of female backpackers is something of a bonus for them.

One of them bends over the smaller of the two girls, who wakes. Her eyes widen as she sees the male face leering down at her.

The alarm clock starts to bleep.

Half the field disappears in a fireball. The grass around the blast radius stiffens and shatters under the forces being brought into play.What is left of the bodies collapse and lie in smoking ruins, the frost slowly melting in the dawn.

Her companion turns over.

“Just once. Please. Can we have an alarm clock that lasts more than a day?”